Rant #2: Okay GMAIL, just stop, you have gone too far this time.

April 14, 2011 kap15

Don’t be evil. Gmail has gone too far. I get it, Gmail is the greatest e-mail service of all time. If God came to earth God would have a Gmail account (though I am fairly certain [email protected] is already taken…I actually checked and i could get [email protected]). Gmail keeps experimenting in their “Labs” and now they have graduated two programs from their Labs that will drive you crazy, “Don’t forget Bob” and “Got the wrong Bob”. The first program suggests friends to add to your e-mail and the second gives you a reminder if they think you are e-mailing the wrong person. GOOGLE IS BIG BROTHER!!!

Please stop! Now, there will be no more trying to exclude people from group e-mails, Gmail will make you feel guilty. Gmail will start reminding you that you haven’t e-mailed your Mom recently. Gmail will remind you that you haven’t included Dave on an e-mail in a while when you used to include him. Plus, Gmail will look over your shoulder and double check your recipients list. Please stop Gmail! Let me send an e-mail to the wrong person, let me leave people out without feeling guilty. Maybe I am trying to exclude an ex and don’t need your reminders of her. Mistakes and excluding people create drama and make life interesting. Gmail could prevent the always hilarious “reply all” and the accidental sending of an embarrassing e-mail of your family jewels to the wrong person.

And, what is next from Gmail? Will they now suggest an e-mail you should have sent? We’ll get Gmail reminders like “Don’t forget to e-mail an apology to Sarah”, “Gmail thinks your e-mail is poorly written”, “Gmail suggests you stop sleeping around.” Maybe Gmail will judge your e-mails as inferior and start writing e-mails for you. Maybe you won’t be able to sign into Gmail anymore because you are what is holding Gmail back. Gmail would send perfect e-mails to the right group of people, never excluding anyone and never sending to the wrong recipients if it could just exclude you.

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