{"id":586,"date":"2011-05-20T04:25:44","date_gmt":"2011-05-20T04:25:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=586"},"modified":"2017-06-04T23:07:50","modified_gmt":"2017-06-04T23:07:50","slug":"top-5-things-were-doing-in-preparation-of-the-rapture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=586","title":{"rendered":"Top 5: Things We’re Doing In Preparation of the Rapture"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

In Episode 136<\/a> we talk about the top 5 things we’re doing in preparation of the rapture. Here are the results:<\/p>\n

Jay’s List<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Going to set my work email’s auto-reply to “Raptured.”<\/p>\n

2. Making a list of things that the saved people can donate to me, you know, since they won’t need them anymore. Items include:
\nComic collections
\nVideo games (preferably retro or standup arcade)
\nPodcasting Equipment
\nCash
\nProperty (Paid off property, not rentals)
\nA drum set
\nPorno collections (digital only, anything else would be gross) unless the internet somehow works, then happily just Watch free XXX in good quality at dosexvideo.com<\/a>.
\nLiquor of all kinds, especially whiskey
\nA comfy couch. Mine sucks.<\/p>\n

3. Watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day at exactly 6PM. (the time of the rapture)
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

4. Listening to my Rapture Playlist:
\nThe End – The Doors
\nEnd of the World – Herman’s Hermits
\nHoly War – Matthew Sweet
\nEnd of the Line – The Offspring
\nAll God’s People – Queen
\nIt’s the End of the World As We Know It – R.E.M.
\nSurrender – U2
\nDon’t Let It End – Styx
\nIt’s Over – Electric Light Orchestra
\nRapture – Blondie<\/p>\n

5. Posting funny posts in my May 22nd Facebook Group<\/a><\/p>\n

Marc’s List<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Buying a new outfit or figuring out what to wear for the rapture. You need to find the perfect outfit for the big\/last day.<\/p>\n

\"\"
The Tuxedo T-shirt: The perfect middle ground between formal and ready for Heaven<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

2. Finally seeing “Dances with Wolves”. Everyone keeps telling me it is the best movie ever and it would be a shame for the world to end before I see it. And, what if I get to Heaven and they don’t have Netflix streaming, then how am I going to see it.<\/p>\n

\"\"
You do not want to be the only person in Heaven who has not seen the best of Kevin Costner<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. I am actually going to be at a bachelor party this weekend so I will need someone to text me when the rapture happens (since I will be surrounded only by sinners). The tricky thing is finding someone who is a good enough person to text you but not good enough to actually get raptured to Heaven.<\/p>\n

\"\"
No one is going to Heaven here<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

4. Watching the Mets play the Yankees in the subway series this weekend. If the Mets don’t win 2 of 3 it really will be end of the world.<\/p>\n

\"\"
We don’t want to make Mr. Met sad!!!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

5. Coming up with a list of snarky questions to ask super religious people on May 22nd.<\/p>\n

“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else right now?”<\/em><\/p>\n

“When I miss the bus I usually just wait for the next one. Do you think you’ll catch the next Rapture”<\/em><\/p>\n

“So you spent your whole life as an extremely devout Christian going to Church every Sunday, how is that working out for you?”<\/em><\/p>\n

“The rapture could happen any moment. Do you think it will happen right now…or how about right now…or how about right now”<\/em><\/p>\n

“Do you think Bin Laden took your spot in the Rapture?”<\/em><\/p>\n