{"id":554,"date":"2011-05-07T14:02:46","date_gmt":"2011-05-07T14:02:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=554"},"modified":"2017-06-01T15:05:01","modified_gmt":"2017-06-01T15:05:01","slug":"rant-7-bathroom-attendants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=554","title":{"rendered":"Rant #7: Bathroom Attendants"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Is there a more pointless job on the planet than bathroom attendant?<\/p>\n<figure style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"Bathroom Attendant\" src=\"http:\/\/improveverywhere.com\/images\/bath18.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"307\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Thanks for handing me that towel, would never have been able to do that on my own.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Word to owners of bars\/clubs\/restaurants; your establishment is not fancy if you have a bathroom attendant.\u00a0 It&#8217;s just annoying and awkward.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->Now every time I go to the bathroom I get to have that awkward exchange where I take a towel from this dude who is just standing there while I pee, and then give him that &#8216;thanks but I&#8217;m not giving you shit&#8217; look.\u00a0 It gets more awkward every time I go.\u00a0 So now I feel obligated to give this guy a buck for handing me a paper towel that was 4 inches from me anyway.<\/p>\n<figure style=\"width: 354px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"Bathroom Attendant\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_uNkopWSg5oY\/TN0Mu0hoIiI\/AAAAAAAAA3I\/wX93w5NQWVc\/s400\/bathroom_attendant04.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"354\" height=\"400\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Thanks but I&#39;m still not giving you shit.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>And where does it end?\u00a0 If I&#8217;m in for a long night of drinking I might have to go 5 times.\u00a0 Am I supposed to give this guy a buck every time?\u00a0 He better have some mints or something so I at least get something back.<\/p>\n<figure style=\"width: 465px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" title=\"Bathroom Attendant\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youjustmademylist.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/bathroom_attendant.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"465\" height=\"335\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">What, these mints aren&#39;t even free?  <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>So now I find myself trying to come up with strategies to get around this awkwardness.\u00a0 I&#8217;m drinking straight whiskey instead of beer so I have to go less, I&#8217;m looking outside to see if there&#8217;s a normal bar across the street without a lurker that I can pee in, I&#8217;m debating holding it for the next 4 hours.<\/p>\n<p>The best strategy I came up with is to wash my hands really slowly, wait for someone else to wash (if there is only one sink you&#8217;re screwed) and while they are getting their guilt-trip towel just walk out.\u00a0 The five minutes of wet hands are worth not having that awkward exchange.<\/p>\n<a href='http:\/\/twitter.com\/share?url=https%3A%2F%2Fbrinkofsanityshow.com%2F%3Fp%3D554&count=horizontal&related=&text=Rant #7: Bathroom Attendants' class='twitter-share-button' data-text='Rant #7: Bathroom Attendants' data-url='https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=554' data-counturl='https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/?p=554' data-count='horizontal' data-via='brinkofsanity3'><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is there a more pointless job on the planet than bathroom attendant? Word to owners of bars\/clubs\/restaurants; your establishment is<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[1142],"tags":[1302,1016,702,16,1106,1307,1223,1306,1305,15,17,1304,1082,1303,1221],"class_list":["post-554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1001-rants","tag-attendant","tag-awkward","tag-bathroom","tag-brink","tag-exchange","tag-free","tag-hands","tag-mint","tag-pee","tag-rant","tag-sanity","tag-tip","tag-tipping","tag-towel","tag-wet"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=554"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1178,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554\/revisions\/1178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brinkofsanityshow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}