Rant 13: Enough with the disgusting pictures showing the effects of cigarette smoking

Smokers get the fact that smoking kills. It is not a secret like it was say in the 60s (and back in the 60s it was only a secret to those that thought hacking up phlegm was a sign of good health). Anti-smoking groups and the government have focused their anti-smoking campaign on basically trying to gross out smokers and potential smokers. The new pictures on cigarette packs are as disgusting as they will be ineffective.

Here are some other proposed anti-smoking campaigns/methods you can expect in the near future from the government:

  1. All smokers will be required to first watch a 3-D simulation of their death before being allowed to buy a pack of cigarettes.  
  2. Smokers will be required to write, “I understand smoking will kill me” 100 times on a blackboard at least once a month.
  3. Smokers wishing to buy cigarettes will be required to bring their kids to the store. The sale will not be complete until the smoker states out loud to their kid that they would prefer to smoke then be alive to see their kid’s high school graduation.
  4. The only place where one will now be allowed to smoke in New York will be while standing in their already dug grave.
  5. All cigarettes will be required to have small microchips and speakers in them that make the cigarette when lit repeat the phrase “you are going to die you selfish prick.”
  6. All the smug non-smokers will be legally required to follow all smokers around and babble in their ear about how smoking is really bad for them.
  7. Or the government will have to go forward with the greatest anti-smoking campaign ever: